Found a Peanut

Days unemployed (1).  Jobs applied for (21).  Company/Job search websites joined (7) Responses(0).  Networks Tapped (3).

A Peanut Plant

Today was rough, but the most important thing I wanted to share was a conversation I had with my brother tonight about some advice he’d recently received:  “You need to find your peanut.”

This was a reference to George Washington Carver, and the many uses he found for the peanut.  When it comes to a job, we owe it to ourselves to find our peanut- that one thing that we’re passionate enough about to work on it at least 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for decades.

I liked that concept, but what my brother said next really boiled my noodle: the reason it’s so hard to find our peanut is because it’s in a shell and that shell is buried in the ground off on a farm (or in the woods, if that’s where your peanut is growing) and the only thing you can see is some green leaves and maybe some yellow flowers.

Building a career is a lot like finding a peanut.  When we’re just starting out foraging for a job, we don’t always know one plant from another.  But during the process of determining just how much of it, if any, will provide us with real sustenance or satisfaction, we learn a lot about what’s common to many jobs and what kind of work really interests us.  Then we start to expand on our interests to develop skills and collect experiences that will ultimately, if we listen close enough and honestly enough, lead us to our peanut.

Along the way, we’ll probably have to settle for some bitter herbs as we hone in on our dream job, but as long as we keep learning what we can, and looking for opportunities to develop our skills and interests, we’ll find our peanuts.

Thanks for the advice, bro!

You’ll notice I added a new category to my running tally, “Networks Tapped.”  I have two free lunches set up to talk to old colleagues about their new endeavors and how and whether I might have something to offer.  I also have a friend putting in a good word for me for an open position at her company.

Today’s steps: Filed for unemployment, revised my resume, networked, prioritized the budget and discussed ways to reduce spending.  Set up home computer in order to apply the same MS Outlook calendar and task functionality I used at work to the job search.

Tomorrow’s goals: Resume, applications, shop around for auto insurance, contact debtors, strategically plan out next grocery shopping trip.

Down the Green Mile

Days unemployed (1).  Jobs applied for (21).  Company/Job search websites joined (7) Responses(0).

I know you hurtin' and worryin', I can feel it on you, but you oughta quit on it now.

I was terminated today.  Rather, my position was terminated, due to a “Reduction in Force.”  Distinctions like that are important when it comes to unemployment benefits.

I’d been involved in terminating and laying-off employees before so I had a rough idea what to expect. Despite being up late last night working on my various creative projects, I was up and ready for work in no time.  Usually, I’m struggling to drag myself out of bed after hitting the snooze three or four times.  I tend to lollygag in the shower or sit in front of the news, slowly getting dressed.  I rarely make the train I’m aiming for and push the boundaries of punctuality so far that it tends to look more like ytilautcnup.

Not this morning.  Just the one snooze, a quick shower, and got dressed with military efficiency.  All my TRADOC battle buddies should appreciate the facetiousness.  All my civilian readers should feel free to giggle at the commonly used term “battle buddy.”   Battle Buddies: because no one likes to die alone.

I even treated myself to a Pumpkin Spice Latte and Artesian breakfast sandwich.  I rarely buy coffee from those places: I’d rather drink yesterday’s cold thick mud than spend that much on trendy drinks.  But it was a partly a ceremonious gesture of passing to the world of cubicles and regularly scheduled meetings, and mostly just so I’d have something to do while I waited for the tap on the shoulder.

I set up my computer, opened the email account I had cleared out over the weekend, and proceeded to search for a Toastmaster’s Club to join in the interest of professional development.  If you’re not familiar with them, its a non-profit organization where people gather at local chapters to improve their public speaking skills.  I’ve been wanting to join for some time, but didn’t get off work in time to meet up with the nearest club.  I enjoyed my breakfast and I continued to putz around for professional advancement opportunities while the all too familiar death parade began.

I didn’t have to turn from my computer to see the solemn managers and shell-shocked employees ghosting silently up and down the aisles or the flurry of WTF instant messages appearing on screens.  The worst part of mornings like this are that the people whose jobs are perfectly safe don’t know that until the last tappee has been informed and the company meeting occurs.

If I had my druthers, that company meeting would happen first, tappees would be called out at once, brought to a holding area while processing their individual paperwork while the remaining crew is informed given The Company Message.  I can see the potential drama of some scared uncooperative terminal employees, and there may be some legal considerations I’m not aware of, but there’s got to be a better way than the death parade.

I had a pre-tap tap, to go over any last minute nuggets of wisdom I could share about the state of the projects I was leaving behind with my boss.  I was as helpful as I could be, and he took notes on a couple bits, but I hadn’t been back long enough to get my hands to dirty in many projects.  The conversation quickly devolved into pleasantries and prospects.

We moved into the HR room.  I’ve been directly involved in layoffs and firings before, but it’s a lot different from this side of the table.  The HR manager was there with a file and dossier.

For those not well versed in the “file and dossier” interrogation technique which is part of the military’s public training manual that our enemies are free to train to resist and which  received even more publicity with the issuance of the executive order Ensuring Lawful Interrogations:

“The file and dossier approach is a variation of the ‘we know all’ approach. The interrogator prepares a dossier containing all available information concerning the source or his organization. The information is carefully arranged within a file to give the illusion that it contains more data than actually there. The file may be padded with extra paper if necessary. Index tabs with titles such as education, employment, criminal record, military service, and others are particularly effective. It is also effective if the interrogator is reviewing the dossier when the source enters the room and the source is able to read his name on the dossier and sees the numerous topics and supposed extent of the files.”

This arrangement of supervisor and HR manager also lends itself quite well to the Good Cop / Bad Cop or “Mutt and Jeff” technique.

My supervisor started by formalizing what he had previously only been able to speak to in vagueries, telling me that my position was being eliminated due to a reduction in force.  We shared a few pleasantries about regret and positive working relationships, then he left me alone with her.

She detailed exactly what was going into the pay I was receiving and walked me through the numbers live on a spreadsheet. Pretty efficient, I thought, observing the process more than experiencing it. It all looked nice and made sense, but I’ll have to sit down with the numbers (and the wife) tomorrow to see what it all really means to my family.   If this ends up being my last post, please send my wife money instead of flowers.   The HR manager and I exchanged pleasantries, the conversation devolved again, and I left to collect my things.

At my next job, I’m planning on slowly populating my personnel effects with an ashtray, a paddle game, remote control, matches, lamp, personal chair and a magazine so I can go out a la Steve Martin in The Jerk. This time, however, I got back to my desk and my laptop had already been removed from the dock.  (I did leave a “Killjoy was here” on the shared company calendar.  Someone might find that in a couple of months).

I said good bye to some people.  A couple more industrious workers oblivious to the black parade had no idea what I was talking about at first, so I stopped saying goodbyes and sent an email out to the rest when I got home.

Then I packed up my papers, pilfered a note pad and a couple of pens (what’s a writer to do?) and took the train home, and begun the process of filing for unemployment.

Astute readers will notice no progress above in my job search from yesterday.  Give me a break, dude, I just got laid off today.

Despite the constant 0 in my running tally of replies at the top of each post, I am still optimistic and seeking to take every advantage I can.  I’ll be going through the budget tomorrow, so we’ll see how long that optimism lasts.  I was expecting 60-70 percent of my salary in benefits.  That’s almost workable with some thrift and gumption.  Preliminary research looks like I’ll be getting less than half.  Not good.

Time is money, and other relative matters

Days unemployed (-1).  Jobs applied for (21).  Company/Job search websites joined (7) Responses(0).

Hercules and the Hydra

That’s an interesting phrase, “time is money.”  It’s kind of like E=MC^2: you seem to only ever have one or the other.  I’m no scientician, but roughly speaking, the laws of conservation of matter and energy dictate that there is a ratio (for some weird reason it’s the square of the speed of light) between energy and mass, and that neither can be created or destroyed.  There seems to be a similar relationship between time and money.

For the last decade I’ve been working jobs that paid the bills, but had very little to do with my career goals.  Consequently, having spent 8-12 hours a day focusing on things that only kept my interest on an abstract love of learning or detached people watching kind of way, during my remaining free time my energy was already spent.

One of the many things that appeals to me about writing is that you can pretty much do it anytime, anywhere.  I always told myself I could keep a day job and get up early to write.  Or do it on the metro.  Or after the kids were in bed.  I still think I could do that, but the bottom line is I don’t.

Technically, I still have a job.  I still have to show up tomorrow just to get laid-off.  This weekend shouldn’t have been much different than any other weekend.  But this has been one of the most inspired, enjoyable, relaxing weekends I remember in quite some time.  I stayed up late and woke up early.  I started a blog, produced a webisode of a cooking show (I’d never done anything close to that before) wrote a children’s book and started talking with an illustrator about it, had some quality time with my kids, exercised, and caught up with friends and family.

All these things I should have had plenty of time to do any other given weekend.  What was different?  On Friday, my boss asked me to finish what I could on any projects I had open, and talk to the guy who now has my former lay-off proof position to pass on any knowledge I could before I left.  When I went home that Friday, for the first time since I started working there, I had closure.

I said I try hard to leave work at work, but a 9-5 job takes more than just 1/3 of your day between the commute, the getting ready, the unwinding, the etc.  Then add any professional development I never seem to have time to do on the clock, between the meetings and actual the work.  On top of that I never really figured out how to “turn off” ongoing projects in my head.  Was I prepared for the meeting tomorrow?  Did I remember to send that email?  Did I remember to attach the file?  What if I approached the problem from a different angle instead?

I always had an urge to prepare for the next day.  I always wanted to complete the hydra of tasks and projects that sprung up every day.  I kept forgetting there would always be two more to take its place.

So I didn’t get all my goals done from yesterday’s post.  I didn’t get to the unemployment research yet.  I only applied for 4 and joined another prospective employer’s job database.  I was always worried I’d miss the right opportunity if I didn’t at least read everything that was posted on Craig’s list each day and apply for almost every one.  I’m going to miss some really good opportunities now and again.  But that’s ok.  There will be two more the next day.

 

A Company Man

Days unemployed (-2).  Jobs applied for (17).  Company/Job search websites joined (6) Responses(0).

A Company Man

They say if you can get a job doing what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.  Well, I’ve had one full time job or another for almost a decade now and I have been working that entire time.  But for the most part, it’s been enjoyable.  Whether it’s the colleagues, the pay or the opportunities for personal advancement, I’ve gotten something out of most of my jobs beside a paycheck.

I’ve always tried to be a company man.  Probably has a lot to do with my military indoctrination: “Mission first, Soldiers always.”  But I also lean toward the mindset that if you don’t want to work for The Company, why are you working for them?  Early in my marriage, I decided to make very conscious decisions about going “above and beyond” when it came to hours put in, and I try hard to avoid taking work home.  But aside from that, I tend to put the company’s interest and those of my subordinates ahead of my own.

This is why I stepped down from the most secure management level position in The Company when I was ordered to 6 months of training with the National Guard.  I figured with the high turnover rate, my team needed a permanent replacement not a temporary one.

As a Guardsman, I have certain job protections and employment rights when I’m ordered to active duty status to ensure that I am not overlooked for promotions or let go because of my military commitments.  However, my lay-off is part of a workforce reduction, and I’m not the only one being let go.  Although the position I left is not being terminated, the one I returned to is.  I am consulting a rep from Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve to ensure my rights aren’t being violated, but because I volunteered to step down from the position, I don’t have much of a tree to piss on.  On the one hand, there’s not much point fighting to keep a job that I’m trying to move out of anyway.  One the other hand, my boys need food to eat and diapers to catch that food on the back end.   My advocate does think he can get The Company to extend my severance package to make the job hunt a little less dire.  I’ll update you on the progress.

If you’re in the Guard or Reserves and have a question about your rights, feel free to post it here and I will forward it to my advocate, or go to the ESGR website.

Lesson Learned: The polite thing to do isn’t always the wise thing.  When it comes to my career and taking care of my family, I have to look out for number one.

I met most of yesterday’s goals, and am tempted to add a lot more to tomorrows list.  However, between meeting them and taking care of the boys while the wife is on nights, I’m exhausted.   A lot of the burn out was from the repetitive nature of entering myself into company websites.  For now, I’ll continue to pace myself.

Tomorrow’s Goals: Research unemployment (historically and practically).  Apply for 10 jobs.  Improve Resume.  Shave. Exercise.  Take kids to the park.

Polishing Brass on the Titanic

Days unemployed: -3; Jobs applied for:  12; Job search websites joined: 3; Responses: 0

Last Tuesday, the one day out of the week I work in the office, I received the courtesy of being informed that I was to be laid off by the end of the month.  I stayed a few minutes late that night, putting extra care into the task I was finishing up.

I weighed my options on the train home.  Worst-case scenario, I could try to get on a deployment soon.  It wouldn’t be a silver bullet: paperwork tends to have a schedule of its own in the National Guard, but the thought manifested as a solid fall-back.  I was free to think more objectively until Cat Stevens broke into my heart with the refrain “There’s a way and I know I have to go away.” I thought about having to physically leave my family again to support them.  I’ve already spent more than half my 5 year marriage away because of the Guard.  I missed both children’s first steps.  My oldest son’s only three.  I’ve already missed too many birthdays and anniversaries for that short amount of time.  There are three big reasons I didn’t choose active duty and they all have the same last name as I do.

I had a good cry on the train, and on the way back from the station.  When I got home I took my time bringing the trash cans back from the curb and focused on the father in those responsibility commercials I’ve been seeing lately where the father loses his job and keeps an honest but optimistic front with his family.  When I wished I could be more like Jack Marlowe, I didn’t mean this much.

Thursday night I was asked to come in Friday morning to finalize my departure.  The HR manager called in sick. Now I have to go back in on Monday to get laid off.  Regardless, I honestly consider the heads up to be a courtesy, as The Company has a history of offering no advanced warning.

Since my first week on the job almost a year and a half ago, the company has been letting employees go in much the same vein as blood let by a medieval barber; a dubious treatment for a clearly troublesome but poorly understood ailment.  Although this continual downsizing has been primarily dictated by the slowing economy, I can’t help but believe many of the staffing decisions I’ve seen were based on assumptions and habit, much in the way blood letting was practiced as a cure-all for any manner of disease.

Before I get much farther, lest The Company be identified by particularly astute readers, or those close to me (readers both astute and close should naturally recognize their personal exception to the grammatical implications that if you are close to me, you are not astute), I must express my respect for my former colleagues and my separate consideration of them from the entity that is herein referred to as The Company.  Any discussion of them or it should not be misconstrued as sour grapes or intent to slander, rather as specifically relevant to the particular point or revelation I am attempting to share.

Although unpleasant, I can’t honestly say these events are entirely surprising or even that I don’t expect to be better off after things settle down.  In retrospect, I maybe should have taken more advantage of the permission to work remotely for the last two months and hopped into a lifeboat before The Company saw this iceberg.  I certainly should have taken more steps to work with my wife to reign in our budget and spending habits which, while I don’t think anyone would consider to be extravagant, probably couldn’t be classified as perfectly frugal, either.  I’m not going to lie, we were already on the edge financially, sprinting to catch up to our bills after each paycheck, only to burn out and crawl the near two weeks remaining until the next deposit.  For various reasons, some chosen, some not, we haven’t been able to maintain a savings for times like these.

At least I have The Company’s laptop for the weekend to begin my blog.  Will the admission of this then make it their intellectual property?  Will I have to pay them for any job I get using this computer to search?  From my grandiose state of denial, I imagine just such a case might well be sensational enough for some opportunistic lawyer to take… and everyone knows any publicity is good publicity scandal sells.  Look what it did for the Ebola in the Box chain.

Lesson learned: Keep a disciplined pace.  I’ve squandered some prime job searching time these last few months.  I’ve known I wanted a new job for a while, but made very minimal effort to actually find one.  12 jobs in 3 days doesn’t sound like a lot, but as a writer and an applicant who has done hiring of his own, I put a lot of effort and thought into crafting my cover letter and application, and I’m not even being as thorough as I know I should be.  Not just the cover letter, but the resume should be tailored specifically to the job description.  I’ve learned this both in my writing courses and from my experience in the hiring process.  A hiring manager can usually tell pretty quickly if an applicant is really interested in the job he’s trying to fill job or if they’re just looking for any job.  Hiring is a pain in the ass.  A good hiring manager knows that a candidate who is excited about that specific position is less likely to continue looking for something more interesting or lucrative

A generic cover letter and resume reflect a generic applicant.  Maybe that’s fine for a barista, but at this point in my career I should be targeting specific positions that will draw from my experiences and interests to take the next step toward my ultimate goal.

Of course, that’s part of the problem.  My goal is to make a living as a creative writer but I’ve been too afraid of never getting there that I haven’t broken down the steps and made strategic career choices to get there that goal.  As a result, I’ve always settled and latched onto “day jobs” and kidded myself that I’d write before or after work.  I don’t look for jobs until I no longer have a choice.  Then, it’s under the extremely stressful conditions of not knowing where the next source of income is coming from which makes latching and settling more likely.

Tomorrow’s Goals: Exercise.  Shave.  Drop interview suits off for dry cleaning.  Apply for a minimum of 5 jobs.  Spend quality time with the family (it’s freaking Saturday).  Research unemployment.  Work on a personal creative writing project.  Update blog.